Our Heavenly Father, look down on us, your humble, obedient servants, doomed to travel this Earth taking photographs, mailing postcards and walking around in drip dry underwear.

We beseech thee, oh Lord, to see that our luggage is not lost and that our overweight baggage goes unnoticed.

Protect us from unscrupulous taxi drivers, porters and unlicensed English speaking guides.

Give us this day our divine guidance in the selection of our hotels, that we may find our reservations honored, our rooms made up and hot water in the taps.

We pray that the telephone works and that the operators somewhere speak English and that there is no mail waiting for from loved ones needing money.

Lead us oh God, to good, inexpensive restaurants, where food is good, the waiters are friendly and the wine is included.

Give us the wisdom to tip correctly in currencies we don’t understand and forgive us for under tipping out of ignorance and over tipping out of fear.

Make the natives love us for what we are and not for what worldly goods we can bring them.

Give us the strength to visit the museums, cathedrals, palaces and castles listed as a “must” in the guide books. And if per chance we take a nap after lunch or skip a historic monument, have mercy on us as our flesh is weak.

Please God keep our wives from spending sprees and protect them from bargains they do not need, or cannot afford. Lead them not into temptation for they know not what they do.

Almighty Father, keep our husbands from looking at foreign women and comparing them to us. Save them from making a fool of themselves in cafes and night clubs.

Above all, do not forgive them their trespasses, for they know exactly what they do.

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